Wacky Witchy’s Top 5 “Mini-Stories” to Make You Smile!
Ah, Witchy dear…I feel your pain. Math was never my strong suit either.
If you haven’t met Witchy yet, here’s the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of her back story:
For centuries, The Witchy One (a.k.a. “Witchy”) lived deep in the heart of the Transylania Forest. After a “secret trauma” that she refuses to discuss, she became vegan (a major adjustment, she’s working on it…). Because she could no longer use eye of newt, bat wings, rat brains etc., her spells started “going wonky,” and…well…all sorts of unpleasantness ensued.
All the other witches laughed her out of the Forest and her much-younger boyfriend, 712-year-old Vladimir the Vampire, dumped her due to his embarrassment at being seen with her.
So she packed up her cauldron, her toothbrush and her stamp collection and moved to England.
Since her traumatic experiences and humiliation that forced her to leave everything familiar, she has been building a new life for herself in a country where everything was new and strange on her arrival.
She relates her experiences in these drawings, which she hopes you will enjoy. For a short video in which she almost lets me tell her story without interruption, click here.
One of her biggest challenges has been learning English…
Can’t say I blame her for having challenges there. With about 70% of English coming from other languages, it’s a tad inconsistent and…well, it’s kind of a pain in the patooty to learn!
I mean, “they’re-their-there,” for example. “You’re-your” as another (and why on earth do so many people use “your” instead of “you’re”??)
“I know! It’s so confusing!” she blurts, standing behind me as I write and watching my every syllable appear on the screen. She knows how much that bugs me.
“I’m sorry!” she continues. “I was just wondering what you’re telling your friends about me.”
“Only good things, Witchy, of course.”
Little giggles erupt behind me.
“Oh! Liberty! Don’t forget to tell them about goose and geese!”
“What about them?
“Well, why do we have goose and geese but moose and not meese?”
“Good question, Witchy.”
“And it’s mouse and mice, louse and lice. Are you sure it’s not house and hice?”
“Yes, Witchy, we’ve been through this before.”
“And how about through, though, thought, enough, cough, and plough??Huh??”
“Mm,” I nod in agreement.
English sucks. Seriously.
But our dear little Witchy never complains (although she does get a tad exasperated at times. Can you blame her?)
She’s also not always the greatest decision-maker. Although to hear her tell it, she’s the best.
Let’s just say she has a…well…a “unique” approach to handling some of the day-to-day challenges that come up.
Like on this particular day…(Look closely…you’ll see what I mean).
“What’s wrong with that?” she asks, peering over my shoulder — again — as I’m writing this.
“There’s nothing at all wrong with it, Witchy. You were just…uh…preparing for all eventualities.”
“All what?” I recognise that English-is-driving-her-nuts look.
“Eventualities. It just means you were prepared for anything.”
“Then why didn’t you just say that?” Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, she just twirled her way across the room and disappeared outside.
Aside from her interesting decision-making skills, bless her sweet heart, Witchy has a nurturing soul. After all, before her “Magic was broken,” she knew all the secrets of the Universe for healing and lots of other wonderfulness.
Now, she’s learning a whole new way of healing, and of just being in the world, doing her best to help wherever she can.
She doesn’t always get it right but her heart is in the right place.
A Startling Revelation
Of course, she gets it a lot more “right” than one of her friends did! Take a look…
Witchy was rather horrified about this situation but wondered if perhaps that’s just how things are done in this country.
She was relieved to discover that it is not. Especially because she is — um, well — as she would say, “A lady never tells her centuries.”
“In the Transylvania Forest, we don’t throw our old witches outside!”
“I should hope not, Witchy,” I replied.
“Besides, they could turn you into a slug.”
Hmm. Yes, there is that.
Because of everything Witchy experienced in the Forest where everyone was so mean, she knows how it feels to be laughed at and humiliated. She knows how it feels to be alone and hurting.
And she knows how hard it is to start over, especially when your whole life has blown up and you don’t know how to even begin to put the pieces back together — much less how to create whole new pieces.
She is finding healing in sharing her own journey with others, and if it makes people laugh with her instead of at her, she is extra pleased.
Because of all she’s been through, what she wants most is to light up the world with hope, healing and humour. Join her private community where she shares lots of fun and interesting tips to inspire and entertain you, such as in her drawing below: